Saturday 18 June 2016

An apology


As all of us Brexit obsessives are complicit in the murder of Jo Cox I have decided to retract my articles on aubergine marketing standards and shipping container weighing regulations. I would hate to think I was in any way radicalising you.

I have noticed a growing trend in you reading my articles about container ship and food safety regulations, and though I initially thought it was encouraging that you were taking an interest in such an arcane subject matter, if that kind of material can trigger the brutal slaying of one of our finest public representatives then I am afraid I will have to tone it down a bit. I will restrict myself to more moderate material. I had no idea what forces I was unleashing.

Though I have to say, and call me a racist if you like, the insistence on phasing out 32mm barrier pipes on irrigation systems is an outrage. I don't care if it's not politically correct to say so. I have no interest in what metro-liberals say about it. It's not right.

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